I wrote this after I had a booking that required me in the office for 4 days a week. I imagine loads of us have forgotten how to behave outside of the home now.
There is no reason to purchase anything from Pret these days. All their sandwiches are far too cold and all their hot food looks like it’s been sourced from a Toby carvery several days prior to making it to the Pret shelves. Yes, no reason at all to use a Pret, unless you’re heading into a place we used to refer to as the office. It’s like your house but with air conditioning and a bigger fridge. Also, other people, people you aren’t related to, will be floating about there. Nobody will be wearing dressing gowns.
Yes, Pret. The first thing to remember when you enter a Pret is that the staff have been so heavily empowered to run the place, they often forget that the customers have had to make a conscious decision to go in; I say they often forget, because that is what is feels like as they look straight through you, sometimes not saying anything to you at all, waiting for you to either place one of their bone-hard baguettes onto the counter or wave a half-filled tub of porridge at them. You may want a coffee, but DO NOT ask for one or you’ll break their circuitry. “Take away?” insert appropriate response here. “Any coffee?” they will bark into the air while again failing to look at you. That’s your cue. “Small bag?” Answer. Quickly. Then get out of the way and await your coffee, which feels like it will be a miracle if it turns up, what with it being so mental hectic in there. Once they’ve taken your hard-earned, who knows what will happen?
I’m taking a punt that this is a London thing. A London + Pret = an aggression sandwich with extra disdain thing, but you really do have to follow a unique etiquette when heading into a Pret.
For a while, Pret had reminders around and about their 475 branches reminding you to Be Kind when conversing with their staff. To be fair, they didn’t say anything about being kind to you. Is there any time for that in the last Soviet Socialist Republic on the planet? “CAN I HELP ANYBODY?” Yes, comrade. A regular flat white, please. If it’s hotter than room temperature, even better.
you are not special 